By Cadence Alexia


The Blackout..............

I'll admit, I have moved more in the last couple of days than I did in Texas, and eaten less, but I've not exactly launched myself back into full time training like I said I would. I've done a bit of cardio, but it was 37 degrees out and I was more than miserable, I did some hanging around that included leg lifts, pull ups, shoulder traction, up and overs then some press ups, V sits and all that, I've actually retained a lot of strength, I've just gained 2 inches of flab around it.

I was about to start some sort of lower body fat shifting work out when I got a call from a friend with a better, less misery inducing offer..... 

"Oh hey, how's it going? REALLY? yeah cool, no, no, not busy at all, not at all, right, I'll come now, perfect, oh how exciting" 

- Get out of jail free card, he did not have to ask me twice. Weight loss plan abandoned for the day. Shocker.

I carried on eating high protein low carb, 1g protein per lb of body weight per meal (which is a lot of meat), veggies and nothing else, stuck to it all day. I may not be training, but at least I'm not eating for weight gain.............

I ignored the slight pang of hopelessness at the workout bailout, ignored the fact my shorts feel tight when they previously struggled not to end up round my ankles. Ignored the fact that I wanted to wear my other shorts today but they just don't fit past my thighs anymore. Ignored the fact that all of the above really stresses me out when it shouldn't.

Then, 11pm, this happened...........

I only went in the deli for water, saw this new untested brand shining out like a gem, too right it was a dark chocolate blackout, I blacked out on my reality until it was nothing but an empty cardboard package.

An article about dark chocolate and why it's addictive

I have a choice to make.....

Suck it up, suck it in, appreciate and listen when people tell me I look hot and healthy with a 'few' extra pounds, and learn to love myself while wearing tight shorts, addiction issues and all, and quit the self loathing about it.


get tough, find some self control and stop this nonsense of eating like I'm a garbage truck. 

I'm undecided, I'll let you technically kind of on holiday, so, really, that should be a holiday from everything, maybe a holiday from kicking myself about weight gain. I think I really need a holiday from myself.

In the words of Russell Brand "you can't really have a holiday from it all, because, you are there, on the holiday" 

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